As Jesus told me once "When I bless you, it's not because you've deserved it but because I want to give it to you. Accept it as a gift".
This being said, I want to clarify that I do believe that we are only ready to receive some blessings once we've reached a certain point of growth and understanding of our identity, but that's another post.
Anchoring our identity and hope in a blessing proves futile.
Anchoring our identity and hope in Christ ALONE is fruitful.
God blesses us because He is unconditional, extravagant, grace. He disciplines us because He is the most righteous of Father's. He loves us because he knows no other way. He changes us because He intends us to live a life free of of brokenness. He renews our souls and our minds because in He desires that we know what is fullness of joy.
Women, despite our best efforts, our best successes, our willpower and our accomplishments, our healthiest of relationships, we will always need Jesus. More than anything. More than any man.
So back to this concept of deserved blessings (which is an oxymoron), and the mental tie between behavior and inherent worth [behavior and inherent worth - another oxymoron) that needs to be broken.
You may be sitting here reading this thinking I've been single for years, I've been pursing God and I've seen his blessing unfold rampantly in my life.. I've followed the Spirits pull and have kept myself sexually pure, but I still haven't met the man of my God-dreams.. God, what's with that? First off, your pain is real. Your ache for a Godly relationship is real. And, it is justified and natural, but so many times we can find ourselves asking God when or why rather than what we can learn and how we can grow within our season waiting. Maybe, your heart needs to know that the more steady you are in your relationship with Jesus, the better you'll know how to fight the temptation to idolized your partner. The more your heart will understand that as long as God is your foundation, you can stand on solid ground through the trials that will shake your relationship. Your heart may just need to understand that you are a daughter of God first, and a man's partner second. The health of your heart for God and humanity should precede your heart for a man. The truth behind why "nothing has worked out" with any attempted relationship is because God is working on the man who will actually met your God-dreams instead of your expectation of them. I may not know your story, but God does and He knows exactly why He it's good for Him to have your undivided attention this very season.
Or, you might be the girl who decided to stay sexually pure today after your decision to give yourself away last night left you feeling even more empty than before. You may be thinking - No guy commits to me. No guy pursues me. I give them my all, my everything, and all I get in return is a broken heart and a crushed spirit. Now I'm scared to even be open to a relationship... How will I ever be worth love, will a man ever see my worth? The truth, loved one, is that your pain is real, and your brokenness is heavy. As someone who has been there, I can relate to the weight of your burden surrounds you in darkness. But, there is a way OUT. I can attest to the healing power of Jesus and His perfect love for you. He loves you, calls you beautiful, and I promise that He will pursue you, your heart, your soul and your mind in such a way that you will be overwhelmed with light rather than the shadows. Healing is your reality if you'll take the second step in claiming it. Jesus took the first step when he took the cross for you pain.
Maybe you're the girl whose reputation seems irredeemable... The victim of pointed fingers and vile names. The girl whose choices seem to define - name - who she is. We all know that pointing fingers and calling of names can represent extreme awe or persecution... There is power in the words that we use and the names that are used to identify or characterize us. For the girl who desires to change, to heal, and to be free, every time the enemy says "you're unworthy", Jesus says to you "take my name instead." Every time the enemy calls you something less than beautiful, Jesus says "take my name instead." Every time someone defines you by something other than what or who you really are, remind yourself that Jesus's love for you on the cross declared, "Identify with me. Take my name instead". When you take someone's name, it means you identify with them and you are humbled yet proud to represent, or be associated with, them. Every time someone calls you a name that doesn't match up with you identity in Christ, cast it away and remember to call yourself by your true name -- loved one, daughter and woman of God, visionary, stronghold, beautiful, redeemed - forgiven, warrior, disciple, leader, activist, humanitarian... Christ follower.
The promise waiting for you, daughter, woman of the Most High God that you have immeasurable worth, because your worth is identified with the one whose worth is immeasurable - Jesus. Your worth holds weight in the balance of eternity because Jesus does. Jesus is what worth looks like, what worth feels like, and what worth ultimately is. You are beautiful, not because of your looks but because of the condition of your soul - made righteous, made pure, made holy with Him. You are loved, because the creator of the universe took on the hate of the world so you would know perfect love. You are healed, because in His scars you will and do find your freedom. You are worthy of pursuit, because Jesus pursued you to death on a cross to have a perfect and eternal relationship with you.
Don't fall for what the world sells that love is when you have access to who love is.
Jesus, the ultimate form of love, said "take my name forever". Identify with me. Call me your own. If you'll take me, I will promise myself to you for eternity.
"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!" - Psalm 139:17-18